Monday, April 13, 2009

People, Plans, Potatoes, and Perplex

So we relived the Jewish absquatulation from Egypt. We blessed the Sun, not the Son. We let the Christians bless the Son. We've put up with everything (everything meaning my gym) being closed while the Son is resurrected. Or in memory of the resurrection, may it come speedily in our days. Lent is over, the countdown to Pentecost is begun, after which the holy spirit will fall upon the Apostles, but never upon the Apostates--and it is curious how those two words are linked--and Moses will come down from mountain bearing two brilliant tablets and he will throw them to the ground and shatter them for his nation will have sinned with the Golden Calf. And then he will climb back up the mountain, but I digress.

I've met some great great people through that weekend, and hope to build several friendships with people I met there. But I'm not where they are at all. They are fighting hard to break their homosexual attractions. They are working to understand and/or explain away that part of them. They want to make it go away.

Their voyage is one of self discovery, of pain, of endurance, of courage. My journey has been one of pleasure, existentialism, and fantasy, of settling for what comes easily, what comes naturally. Who's right? I don't know. Or I'm not ready to say I know. And there may not be one right answer for everybody.

I'm thinking about doing the therapy thing again. I met some people who feel it helped them. My experience hasn't been as positive, but I'm at a different place now.

Tonight was pretty amazing. Got a massage, but that was silly and of little value. The things should have warning stickers that say: This is nonsense. Anyway, I met this guy for the third time. This time we went to his place. It was exciting. So much fun. I'm still a little confused about how that whole thing is going. Where it is going, more like. And I wish he didn't smoke. But all in all, it's good times!

I spoke to the guy from LA who's with his family in Florida. Sometimes it seems everybody's traveling but me. Another friend just went to Orlando for the weekend, too. I'm just rambling now about the human contact I've had lately, trying to convince myself I have friends. Maybe one day I will. :) I spoke to him, and him, and maybe we'll get together tomorrow for some golf. Or maybe I'll go with my family to a museum. I should also call her. She's awesome. We should hang out some more. And maybe I'll get in touch with "the kitchen guy" and the other one who wrote the book. And that friend who's apartment searching. Omg, and the one who went to Israel for the holidays. Man, if I kept up with all the people I'm supposed to be keeping up with it would be a full time job.

But then I ask myself, do I care? Do I care about these people. I'm too tired to continue this post right now. It's some food for thought. And food is good cuz it's Pesach (Passover) and satisfying food is hard to come by. Matzo seems to blow up your stomach and make you fat without feeling completely satisfying. Over and out.

Oh, P.S. Observe and Report is the worst movie ever.

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