Of Prurient Ballistics Experts

Gave in and set up email blogging so I could write from home but the service is down temporarily, so here I sit at the local internet caf. Let me tell you about the latest nothings from my nonlife. I was pretty down recently, regretting everything I do and do not do, am and am not. Mostly feeling lonely. I got a couple of phone calls just before, which helped. This will be an exercise in nonlinear stroytelling (a pretty intense concept, I must say - demonstration of social evolution). The two callers couldn't have been more different. The first called as I was getting dressed and I just left my pants around my ankles and answered it; the second called while I was brushing my teeth and I left the toothbrush in my mouth and finished brushing as I answered it. But more about that later.

Broke the guy's no-sex-on-the-first-night-rule. Was kind of afraid that meant it was over. Wondered if it was a bad sign - meant he didn't want to pursue anything long-term or a good sign - he was so overcome with passion that such niceties fell by the wayside. Probably was neither. Just the alcohol.

But before that happened, we were ready to leave the club, and he says he needs to go say goodbye to his friend. He walked back in and I waited a couple of minutes, while some elderly gentleman ogled me. Finally I went back in and waited by the door, when I noticed a really cute boy looking at me. We started talking and were soon on dance floor. Here's the dilemma part. Could I just ditch the first guy like that? Could I give up this chance with the ubercutie? In retrospect, this probs could have been better handled, but I guess the alcohol was clouding my reason.

Then I started getting mixed vibes. He excused himself to the restroom, which is club-slang for giving the slip. Anyhow, I needed a bathroom break myself, so I went with. But instead of heading toward the johns, he goes over to talk to a friend. I played dumb when he walked away from the guy and pointed him toward the bathrooms. We sat down and were chatting (not my forte) when the first guy shows up. When he comes over to me, the second boy gets up and slips away. So I leave with the first, haunted by what could have been, but looking forward to what will be. He is annoyed that I didn't wait for him outside, but pleased that he ended up finding me, so all's well. We picked up a couple of beers at the kwikimart and walked the few blocks to his apartment.