A Wonderful Night Sans Alcohol (Well, Maybe a Little...)

To drink or not to drink. Well, while I was trying to make up my mind, I saw L. Went and danced with him a little, noticed H. Told him I was here with my friend L, and L and I went to a different part of the room. Soon H came over, and the three of us were dancing together. Then L asked if I wanted to go to another party, which I wasn't really interested in so he left, I was with H when one of a couple next to us started looking at me like he was really interested in me. H encouraged me to go over to him but first, I wasn't interested in the guy and second, he was with someone else. Eventually, the guy inches closer and starts holding my hand. I think his boyfriend must be blind or drugged or I don't know. It was weird. After a while they move off. I find R. He's really cute. Closing time. I go with A to the diner for breakfast. A is annoyed that I didn't call him or spend time with him earlier. I understand. But he still wants to take me home. A bunch of us sitting at the diner. Someone keeps commenting on how cute a couple A and I make and wonders if we're dating. A, still a bit upset I didn't ask him out, maintains that he's never seen me before. But we're bad actors. The guys at the table see something between us. The thing is, the uber-cutie in the booth behind us is winking my way and blowing kisses. Does he mean it or is he playing? I blow back. At some point A notices and expresses his disapproval. When A goes to the bathroom, I get N's number.

I know, it sounds like I'm a really bad guy. I'm not really. It's just the craziness of the way things work out sometimes. Anyway, by now L must be back in Hollywood. R and N most likely won't answer my calls or texts. A likely still feels how he feels and I'm still unable to tell him how I feel about him. Hopefully I'll see him soon. I think H likes me, and he's very cute, but something about the chemistry, I don't know, I don't feel it clicking. D texted me to go out last night. I said I couldn't make it. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to go to a birthday party for C, and her friend E is sure to be there. I haven't heard from her all week, so that should be interesting.

I'm writing all this I guess to try to convince myself that I actually have a social life or am desirable or something. I don't know. I'm &%#$-ing delusional. I saw Babel the other day. I was thinking it's a good movie, but then--it ended--and didn't say anything or go anywhere. It was cool jumping from San Diego to Morocco to Mexico to Japan, but then Japan didn't tie into the other stories and it kinda fell apart. And there's always the nagging question when you watch movies about these wildly different exotic cultures: is it realistic? Are they really like that? Maybe I should go see for myself. And so the wanderlust is stoked...