I Don't Need to be Doing This Now

Sorry I haven't been updating much lately; I'm behind filter software at home and school. Finishing up the last of my finals and set to begin a summer job next week. It's raining. Pretty rain. Quiet as only a rainy morning can be. I read Kurt Vonnegut's A Man Without a Country. A long rant about everything on his mind. Today's politics, the past, the future. My mother just woke up and was shocked to see me up this early. Not in a good way. She's worried as usual. She said she feels like I am ripping out her heart. I feel bad, but helpless. It was just a bout of insomnia. Likely brought on by staying up all night last night. And sleeping a good part of the day. My life is so sorry. So I go clubbing at night till late and wake up late. It's so nice to be on vacation (or is the word 'unemployed'?) and yet so lonely. And it isn't even really vacation yet. Classes are over but we still have finals coming up. My summer job starts next week. My mother is so worried how I'll be able to get up in time for work considering I've been waking up after 10:00am pretty consistently and I'll have to improve on that by several hours. She offered to call the shrink and see if more meds might help. Who knows. If I seem discombobulated and out of character in this post, it's because I am. The Aussie's friends are in DC for the day and he asked me to drop by. And Long Branch and Manhattan and the Bronx. George on Seinfeld - his parents lived in Queens. And I'm flying. You don't believe me. In an airplane, I meant. Very soon. To another country. I've been up all night. Am I not making sense? Ever heard of Jonah? Someone just told me they don't believe the Jonah story because whales have filters in their throats that would not admit a human being. I figure there could be a whale with a holy filter. Anyway there is also a cult for Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality. Some people might take offense at the cult labeling and perhaps rightfully so. These people sound sincere and there is truth and encouragement in a lot of what they have to say. But there is that feeling, you know?